I hate all girls vehemently.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
