i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Man, jail baloney is awful.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
