I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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