You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Bring me that man meat
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize