Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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