But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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