It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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