so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
