i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
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OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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