yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
