are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize