i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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