if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This house was built for laser tag.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize