try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize