3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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