it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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