She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
