dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
