were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
