Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
