so let's talk penis.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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