He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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