Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We have started to decorate penises.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
