i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
