he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
and she was petting her beer can
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
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How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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