So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
