anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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