How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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