i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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