when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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