you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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