great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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