My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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