During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just gift wrapped bread.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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