Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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