Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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