Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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