I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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