Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
