when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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