i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
