I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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