New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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