But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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