What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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