dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
