brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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