Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
