I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
