Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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