A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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