I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
