The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
