im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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