this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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