i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Still dying that you shit outside
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize