i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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