i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
