I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The beers last night were like the tears from god
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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