Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My bed smells like the plague
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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