I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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