New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
