I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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