Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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